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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?